FRANK AND JESSE BECOME BANK PRESIDENTS

NOT TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS PT. 1

THE STORY OF CLINT, AMERICAN GULLIVER.


This part is called “Part One”, but could be assigned almost any number, Much like a page number for a novel by William Burroughs’. Clint is counted among the living, so the exact number of parts to his life is unknown.

Clint’s mother fell in love with Clint Eastwood after seeing him in one of those foul Italian Westerns. When Clint was born to an unwed, teenage mother, he was graced with the name Clint.

Despite being a disgrace to her fellow high school students, Mom managed to become class valedictorian. The theme of her commencement speech considered the narrow-minded suburban fascist culture turning the nation into a herd of pig ignorant, sexual repressed, drunken, wife beaters.

Nixon was president.

Near our present time, Clint found a job at a bank rubber stamping loan application for any yahoo who could arrive at his desk, self powered or strapped into a motorized wheelchair. Drool optional. Assistant managers in charge of the Freedom Fries fryer at a fast food restaurant qualified for $300.000 houses. No down. No credit check.

The rubber stampers applied a joyous “approved”, along with the signature of the Harvard MBA currently running his bank, along with the country, to ruin. None dare call it treason.

Clint received a cool grand for every time he mashed the stamp on to a loan application.

He made a pile of cash, but was wise enough to keep his double-wide coach, formerly known as a trailer, and avoid the resulting crash creeping its way into the economy with the help of Clint’s bosses and most members of Congress.

The crash came, but he had no need for a high priced shyster and a deal with the US Attorney. All was forgiven long before the crash began. The butter is always on the same side of the bread. You’ll even find it in Herodotus.


He got a new job with a new stamp: Rejected!

Clint lost his job when he foolishly lent a customer a quarter to call his wife with the bad news. This act of defiance was spied by an aged security guard who reported it to the bosses as they were making a wire transfer of their multi million dollar bonus’ to an off-shore bank in an island country where it is a crime to even inquire if a foreigner had a bank account. There are just a few accounts short of the 535 for each member of Congress. Hard as it is to believe, some Congressman are honest.


END OF PART ONE.